New #radio interview for Replacement Child. Listen to Meet the Author interview of Judy Mandel.
Archive for the ‘Replacement children’ Category
New Radio Interview for Replacement Child
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010"Replacement Child" for a Physically or Mentally #Challenged Sibling?
Thursday, February 25th, 2010Another interesting facet of the ‘replacement child’ discussion is the idea of expanding the term to include the child who is born after a mentally or physically challenged child. In some families, the subsequent child may be looked upon to live out the hopes and dreams that parents had for the first child–that were thwarted when they discovered the child’s disability. I hadn’t specifically thought about this until a friend, psychotherapist Elayne Savage, PhD, brought up the topic when we spoke today. She has had a good deal of experience treating adults who identify with being a replacement child, and says that replacing a living sibling in this way can have similar impact with regard to identity and rejection issues. (Dr. Savage is also available for consultation.)
Although Replacement Child doesn’t deal specifically with this notion, many of my stories in the book point to a complicated dance around my sister Linda’s — I hesitate to use the term — disabilities, that were due to the plane crash and the burns she suffered at the age of two. I certainly felt guilt at being the one spared from the crash, especially in the face of her continued struggles with her reconstructive surgeries, physical limitations and extensive scarring. So, as Dr. Savage pointed out–I had a double wammy of replacing my sister who died, and being the replacement for my living sister to be all that she could not be for my parents. Hmmmm—complication upon complication.
A replacement child for a physically or mentally challenged sibling carries the responsibility of living up to parents’ expectations for the first child that may undermine their sense of a unique identity. It may be another overlooked aspect of family history that can have far reaching implications in our choices, our relationships and our understanding of ourselves.
#Private Practice Episode Touches on 'Replacement Child' Theme
Friday, February 5th, 2010Last night’s episode of Private Practice on #ABC centered on a terrible choice parents had to make to save only one of their twins who suffered from leukemia, and not the other. They had conceived and delivered a new baby in order to use the blood from his umbilical cord to treat their twin girls, but it turned out that there were only enough cells for one child to benefit. My head spun around all the replacement children in the story! First, little Trevor, the new baby, was born specifically to heal his siblings and save his family. Then, one twin was ultimately treated with the cord blood when the other took a turn for the worse and could not be treated in any case. So, the surviving twin would certainly feel the impact of being her sister’s replacement for her parents. My only hope was that they all sign up for ongoing therapy at the Practice!
New Video Interview – Judy Mandel
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010New Blog Radio Interview
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010Check it out at http://www.peteranthonyholder.com/podcast-0024.htm
Replacement Aunt?
Friday, December 4th, 2009Heading off to Florida today for a book signing event at the Palm Beach Bookstore tomorrow, Dec. 5th at 1:30. My heart is conflicted in making this trip. My nieces, my sister’s daughters, are there and I am truly happy to be seeing them both–as well as my sister’s grandsons. They have planned a reception of friends to welcome my Florida book event–and that touches me very deeply. The last time I was in Florida this summer, though, I witnessed my sister’s last breath and said goodbye to my first best friend. When we were growing up and would have the inevitable fights and slamming of doors that all sisters have, my mother would break in with “when I’m gone, you’ll have each other–now make up!” She had promised that. We did have each other to lean on through our parents’ deaths, just five years ago. But, I wasn’t prepared to have lost my sister so soon–and now to have lost them all. Maybe we are never prepared for that. Packing for this trip, where I know the the weather will be warm and I won’t need my New England sweaters, I find myself reaching for a bundle of responsibility from my bottom dresser drawer and tucking it into the side pocket of my suitcase. I can’t wait to hug my nieces, to hug them for my sister, and to feel her with me through them.
Last Week for Book Club Discussion
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009This is the last week to be part of the book club discussion of Replacement Child at AuthorExposure.com. If you’ve finished reading the book and would like to join the conversation, click here and see what others are saying about the book. There are some very good insights about replacement child syndrome, what constitutes a replacement child, and how negative effects can be avoided when parents decide to have another child after a child dies. I hope to hear more from other replacement children, and also parents.